After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a
bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office.
“Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.”
“Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. James replied. “I hung him up to dry.”
Two little kids lined up for surgery are lying in stretchers outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”
The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”
The first kid tries to reassure the other and says, “Oh! don’t worry. It’s very simple. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream.”
The second kid, feeling a little better, then asks, “What are you here for?”
The first kid says, “A circumcision.”
The second kid says, “Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year!”
A man & wife entered a dentist’s office. The Wife said, “I want a tooth pulled. I don’t want gas or Novocain because I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” You’re a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is. The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.”