Medical Jokes : Best Reported Allergies

Nitrous oxide – “Makes me light-headed”
Novocaine – “Makes me numb”
Novocaine – “When it wore off I had a lot of pain”
Bleach – “When I inhale it, have resp. distress”
Epinephrine – “makes my heart race”
Poison Ivy – “gives me a rash”
Erythromycin – “N/V”

Dextrose– causes SOB
Diprovan– “lose consciousness”
paper tape– causes tachycardia
codeine-”makes me constipated and vomit”

Cortisone – “gives me hives”
Morphine – “makes me sleepy”

Ampicillin — “gives me a yeast infection”
Cortisone/prednisone — “makes me puffy”

“I can only take brand name drugs, I get a rash from any generics”

“Allergic to oxygen”
“Allergic to water”

“allergic to all painkillers except Demerol”
“I’m allergic to demerol, codeine, Morphine and 2mg Dilaudid. But I can take 4mg Dilaudid.”
Allergic to : non-narcotic pain relievers
“I’m allergic to all painkillers except one. I think its called ‘perc-a-something’ but I really don’t remember the exact name”.
“Doc, I’m allergic to 50 milligrams of Demerol but 100 mg doesn’t hurt me at all.”

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